When we embarked in our journey few years ago, deep down I knew that it is going to be a tough one, but hey, you never know until you try. Both of us are not that confident, but we are courageous enough to take the lead. Even why I chose Imperial College as my place of study was also to enable my wife to continue her PhD in Petroleum Engineering.
Along the journey, the syaitan, our great enemy, would desperately whisper to me, “what a great feeling after all the turmoil, after all the challenges both of you underwent, you’ll be a successful couple, power couple, you show to the world that you went against all odd, have 4 kids, and yet still succeed in your PhD, both of you!”
However, Allah is great and He is merciful. He already knew that, possibly if both of us had the same success story in our PhD, we might go astray from Him. Nauzubillah, we may feel that we are so great and we forgot everything is from Him.
Then, He led us to a continuous tribulations and tests, illnesses, lab exploded, catalyst ruined, unplanned pregnancy, to the extend my wife finally terminated her PhD because of her clinical depression.
Until now, this what kept me on the ground. Feeling humble with what we’ve undergone, though I successfully completed my PhD from a well renown university. The best thing happens when He called us to repent, to reset our life and erase our sins and past mistakes during our hajj, so we are able to align our journey, making sure it is for the sake of getting closer to His jannah. Most importantly, for us to reach to some other people that we loved so much that we can go to jannah together. That is the wishful hope, and still hoping until now with fear, may Allah with His blessings, put us in His jannah, with the prophet and his companions.
As for me now, yes, I learnt a lot to change my nawaitu while working as an ambitious career man, enjoying every bits staying together with my family, and raising our kids together. Most importantly, not to feel too comfortable with this life, so we always strive for the best as a preparation for the final day of judgment.
Alhamdulillah o Allah, despite many things happened to us, you still kept us close to You, be reminded of You, our Lord that we are just your slave, like a tiny bubble in the ocean